Finance

Obama, Fed Chairmen To Light Money Candle

It took a little convincing

It took a little convincing

Barack Obama and Ben Bernanke have planned a special ritual to be carried out in the White House sometime next month. The exact date has not been announced, but the ritual is receiving much attention worldwide.

Obama and Bernanke’s ritual is going to be directed around the burning of a ‘money candle’, with hopes of stimulating the worsening U.S. economy, preventing another recession, and increasing government revenue. If no measurable change is recorded, Fed officials are considering buying thousands, possibly millions of money candles and setting them ablaze.

A money candle is usually green and is burnt with the intention of attracting wealth and prosperity to those who burn it. There are many chants and visualizations that can accompany the burning of a money candle.

Barack Obama has said this about the upcoming ceremony: “We’ve put all our options on the table and we’re taking suggestions from anybody. Republicans and Democrats. The American economy is our responsibility and extends beyond party lines. The economy affects the folks on Main Street as well as Wall Street. We’re not counting out any options.”

He also admitted that since he’d been elected in 2008, and up to his current days in office, the economy has not actually netted any new jobs.

The lighting of the money candle has been met with much criticism by both Democrats and Republicans. House Republican Leader John Boehner said, “This is yet another step in Obama-styled voodoo. Whenever I light a candle, the house smells nice, but nothing more. Your president believes in witchcraft. And it’s the taxpayer’s dime they’re spending on it.”

There have been rumors that Timothy Geithner will also attend the ritual, along with other unnamed politicians. “We want to take this measure in good faith, and we want to carry it out with good, positive people. This is an important ritual,” President Obama said to a handful of White House reporters, “and yes, we will be doing a little chanting.”

‘Money, money come to me’ the most likely.

Will lighting a ‘money candle’ help the worsening American economy? With jobless rates soaring, the economic recovery is on millions of American minds.

“Americans who believe in a little faith and spirit can light their own money candles at home,” Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said, “in fact, we even encourage it.”

For more information on money candles, please visit Gypsy Magic.

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