Politics

White House Hires Counselor To Help Lawmakers Imagine What Unemployment Feels Like

Political leaders meet creative counselor

WASHINGTON–An inside source at the White House announced Thursday evening that President Obama had ordered officials to hire “the best” creative counselor they could find so he could hold an emergency debt ceiling / budget meeting this weekend with top Democrats and Republicans, with the counselor in attendance.

The creative counselor will assist top Washington lawmakers in imagining what it’s like to not have a job. With the right level of empathy, the president is confident future debt ceiling negotiations will be smoother and Republicans may budge on shared sacrifice.“Look,” Obama is purported to have said, “some of us either don’t know or have forgotten what it’s like to not have a job. We’ve got real unemployment hovering at around 20 percent, and frankly, I want to know what these tens of millions of jobless Americans feel like.”

Top political leaders will be invited to the “unemployment imagining” session, along with Speaker Boehner, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor, and other top Dems and GOP members. The inside source said the session would be similar to a guided meditation. Very simple, but meaningful.

“We’re not only going to imagine what it’s like to be out of a job,” Obama said, “but we’re going to get the counselor to direct us toward feeling what it’s like to not have a job for many weeks, months, or even a year or more. Truthfully,” he said, “I don’t think most of us in Washington have the first inkling of what the horrors of extended unemployment feels like.”

John Boehner is expected to react harshly to the meeting with the creative counselor as he has repeatedly told Congress, the White House, and the American people about his financially meager upbringing. Eric Cantor is not expected to make it through the entire session. The $225/hr bill the counselor charges is not expected to sit well with GOP leaders, also.

“We’ll see who’s serious and who isn’t about joblessness in America,” Obama said in relation to the possibility of congressmen storming out of the meeting.

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