Gross New Dieting Fad Hits Southern California

Don Janty ripping into a delicious dessert -- and thin enough to choose to swallow it.

Pat Janty ripping into a delicious dessert — and thin enough to choose to swallow it.

BEVERLY HILLS – Why isn’t life fair? That’s the question many overweight Americans ask themselves each year as they chow down on scrumptious fatty foods and desserts, knowing the thousands of extra calorie-intake each day will not help avoid heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure—all effects of being overweight.

Is it possible that there can be a ‘best of both worlds’ solution to eating as much unhealthy, tasty food as possible, but without suffering the risks to the heart and body? Of course there is, says one restaurateur, Pat Janty, who resides in a lush Beverly Hills Neighborhood. He calls it the “Spit, Don’t Swallow” diet. He smirks while he says it.

“It’s all about spit or swallow,” Janty says, wearing his white chef’s jacket and resembling a toothpick loosely wrapped in an unused napkin, with a bob of salt-and-pepper colored hair stuck to the its top. “What you do after you get done chewing and swishing my food around in your mouth is what makes all the difference.”

In Janty’s restaurant, which is called Janties, but only because the Beverly Hills city council board refused to allow the establishment to be named Spit or Swallow, the patrons are “highly encouraged” to “politely deposit” their food into spit cups, which are placed beside each table setting.

“We’re kind of self-policed in this place,” Margret Hampler says as she lifts her stainless steel spitting bowl to show the gooey black mud stuck to the bottom. The plate before her is loaded with a greasy hamburger, glistening french fries, and three chunks of rich chocolate cake drizzled with chocolate syrup. She’d already eaten a plateful of steamed broccoli and Brussels sprouts — all of which she swallowed. Now she’s onto the good stuff. “That’s only one bite so far,” she says, “I plan on dropping a few more in here.”

Hampler, who has been to the restaurant three times since its opening last month, says nobody can enforce the no-swallow rule, but “everybody is kind of watching each other, and there’s a great show about chewing and enjoying the food before spitting it out.”

Janties offers a wide variety of food. “Standard American,” Janty says, “to Japanese, Mexican, and Chinese fusions. There are a few Indian and Thai dishes as well.” Don’t expect to find this restaurant listed online — it’s by invitation only. The patrons are allowed to only invite their friends, families, neighbors to try the meals, and give the “spitting and swallowing” diet technique a fair chance.

“We’re building an open-minded community,” Janty says, “of people who want to engorge themselves healthily.”

There is some controversy, besides the standard fare that comes with new, edgy diets and eating habits, coming from the local community. Ardent fans and followers of a little known local Los Angeles writer have been up-in-arms about Pat Janty possibly stealing the idea from one of his articles written on January 2, 2010, which claims Americans could be healthier if they “do not swallow the food that tastes good.”

Janty exuberantly exclaims that he received the idea of the “spit not swallow” diet while in the throes of a nightmare. The solution to obesity and enjoying an orgasmic food experience every day came to him like a Biblical revelation. “Spit, don’t swallow!” he shouts.


2 thoughts on “Gross New Dieting Fad Hits Southern California

  1. Pingback: Philip Seymour Hoffman Missed the Super Bowl & So Did I | Dear Dirty America

  2. Pingback: Downtown LA On Edge After Three Prominent Foodies Choke to Death | Associated Pulp

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