New Google Glass App To Address Issues Of Distraction

Soon, we'll all need a pair just to survive

Soon, we’ll all need a pair just to survive

UNDERGROUND SOMEWHERE – Before long, Google’s new nerd glasses, which allow their wearers to always be connected online and undertaking one Internet task or another, will be worn by nearly everyone. For those who refuse, soon they will be the new versions of the no-Facebook-page folks, who are really just updated versions of the we-don’t-believe-in-having-a-TV people.

But for everybody else, they’ll be wearing Google Glass. Despite how geeky they look, the utility value is worth downgrading your fashion sense. Imagine seeing through your lenses a notification that the train you’re trying to catch is running five minutes late, or that the pizza shack you’re walking to has a thirty-minute wait time, and has received only three of five stars from users’ reviews.

Imagine being able to verbally demand the glasses begin recording, and you walk around taking video of everything before you. Including your friends, family, police officers, and public officials.

Despite both the cool and Orwellian-nightmare factors, the biggest complaint online about Google Glass is your friends will no longer pay attention to you when you’re speaking to them.

“If you thought cell phones at the dinner table was bad,” one user writes, “can you imagine if you can’t even tell exactly if the person sitting across from you, whether it’s your date or your best friend, is truly hearing what you’re saying, or is browsing the web instead?”

The application being developed is a high-tech invention that allows Google Glass to take an image of your eyes, capture their exact width and height, wateriness and shades of color, and project a pair of simulated eyes at anybody who looks at your glasses. Every few seconds, the eyelids blink, to better mimic reality.

“It’s not a perfect invention by any means,” says one of the anonymous developers, “but it should be convincing enough to work for anybody who needs it.”

Because of the project’s lucrative nature, the developers have been shrouded in secret, until somehow their work leaked out online. Because they are nearly finished with the app, they are confident they will be able to get it on the market before Google Glass gets widely distributed.

Which had better be soon, since Google has chosen 8,000 lucky guinea pigs who get the first shot at paying $1500 for a pair and testing them out in public.

“The basic premise is that your eyeballs will look like they are trained on the person before you, so your company thinks you’re engaged in what they are saying.” The developer would not say if the eyes could follow movement, but he seemed to hesitate in a negative way, as if to say they either hadn’t thought of that, or it wasn’t possible yet.


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