Politics

President Obama Makes Monumental Economic Pitch

Enough to reinvigorate America's economy and pride?

Enough to reinvigorate America’s economy and pride?

As President Obama embarked on his campaign-style Midwest tour to make clear his agenda on reinvigorating the struggling American economy, many citizens who tuned into the president’s speech were shocked at the size and scale of his initiative.

The looming crises over the debt ceiling and the federal budget seemed to be large enough hurdles for the president to leap over, but Mr. Obama laid out what he called a “game changer” that he desperately wanted the backing of the American for.

“I want to take ten to twenty years to build a great American pyramid,” the president told the people who had gathered in the auditorium to see him. “I’m imagining two groups of around 100,000 men would carry out the process. Not only would this put hardworking people back into the swing of an everyday occupation, they would also receive a fair living wage.”

Questions erupted from the crowd while Obama patiently waited for the din to die down. The First Lady eventually put two fingers to her lips and made a screeching whistle that quieted everybody.

“I don’t know if the workers will drag huge, precisely cut blocks of stone over hundreds of miles to place them perfectly atop each other to closely align each side of the base with the four cardinal compass points. I don’t know if the engineers of the project will precisely align the tip of the pyramid with certain formations of stars in the solar system. All I know is that many people will come to see the pyramid long after it’s been completed.”

Congress is not expected to take this proposal well, however New York’s Republican representative, the staunch Peter King, said he liked the idea of grabbing a little prestige from Egypt. “If people want to see a pyramid, maybe they’ll consider the one made in America,” he said, in an apparent nod to president Obama’s speech. “But how much will the workers make?” he asked rhetorically, “because I think minimum wage is more than adequate.”

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One thought on “President Obama Makes Monumental Economic Pitch

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