ASSOCIATED PULP LOS ANGELES — The public choking deaths of three prominent Los Angeles foodies has prompted an investigation into the trendy movement that celebrates all things edible. Experts and aficionados alike are scratching their heads and wondering if there’s a darker side to the foodie fanaticism that seems to promote at dangerous, even zealous … Continue reading
ASSOCIATED PULP Kabul — An Afghanistan family injured in a wayward United States drone strike have just about run out of patience attempting to apply for much needed medical assistance through the Obamacare website, Healthcare.gov. While the site keeps crashing on them, as the family gathers round the local computer station in the library ten … Continue reading
(republished by Dear Dirty America) Amid catastrophic website problems, the battered president, still weary and worn from a two-week government shutdown battle with Congress, admitted his healthcare plan for Americans was not running as smoothly as possible. In fact, he admitted the Affordable Care Act rollout was a train wreck. The problems range from the … Continue reading
BEVERLY HILLS – Why isn’t life fair? That’s the question many overweight Americans ask themselves each year as they chow down on scrumptious fatty foods and desserts, knowing the thousands of extra calorie-intake each day will not help avoid heart disease, diabetes, and high blood pressure—all effects of being overweight. Is it possible that there … Continue reading
Are you fed up with the sickeningly false images of beauty depicted on nearly every advertisement? In every magazine, and on every sales rack, pictures of perfect men and women with the clearest skin, the warmest eyes, and glorious, taut, sun-kissed bodies. If you didn’t know any better, you’d think these models and celebrities never … Continue reading
LOS ANGELES – A highly-evolved strain of tuberculosis has spread in downtown Los Angeles’ skid row district,and is threatening the surrounding areas. While it has public health officials and scientists scrambling to find ways to contain the outbreak, local hipsters and writers have used the news to talk about one of their favorite Romantic poets, … Continue reading
CRAWFORD, TX – One of former president George W. Bush’s longtime butlers is presumably out of a job tonight, and a top secret plan to be carried out by a prominent animal DNA testing laboratory has been thrust into the light. The details are hazy and so unusual you might swear they’ve come out of … Continue reading
CREVE COEUR, MO — From the makers of Agent Orange, DDT, and Bt cotton, potatoes, and soybeans comes a new specialty product that will be sure to have people scrambling to get it. Unlike the other creations, the new product being created, tested, and perfected in Monsanto’s underground laboratories will elicit smiles from all people, … Continue reading
UNDISCLOSED ARTERY — Hillary Clinton’s blood clot is reportedly honored to have formed inside the body of the current United States Secretary of State, and will stubbornly “stay put” for as long as a bodily liquid which has clumped into a solid can. Despite the reprehensible thought of a blood clot reveling within the body … Continue reading
Associated Pulp 